Harry and Luna Get It On
by emiklio
Summary: HP/LL. Harry sees Luna in a new way one day and it changes their relationship forever.
1. Herbology Boner

**Author's Note: **Non-canon, alternate universe-y whatever. It's not strictly canon, that's for sure. This is my first fic ever, so be nice! :D I've always wanted to see a Harry/Luna fic that's hella sexy, so I'm hoping this will fill my needs. Basically complete smut, lol. Since there is no category on for plain ol' smut, I had to stick it under angst/romance, so if smut's not your thing, please don't bother! I don't want to offend anyone's sensitivities. I hope it is as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write!

**Disclaimer: **Obviously I don't own Harry Potter (though I wish I did). This is a fic I wrote for fun! :)

Harry Potter was having an erection. It was a bad time for one, too. He was in the middle of Herbology class with the Ravenclaws, trimming leaves off a Stiltwinged Stubnut, and trying to conceal his raging boner.

His partner, Luna Lovegood, was sporting an outrageous outfit as usual. She had brought out a huge yellow sweater with bees dangling on the sleeves, and it had been Charmed to buzz whenever someone walked by.

Unfortunately for Harry, it was a hot day in early September, and Luna had shed her sweater as soon as she entered the steamy greenhouse. Now she was only covered by a pair of jeans and a light colored camisole. Harry could see her breasts every time she leaned across the table to trim the Stubnut. He had never noticed before, but Luna actually had an amazing rack. Her tits were perfectly round, plump, and luscious…and Harry suddenly longed to touch them, to slip his hand down her camisole and cup her breasts in his firm hands. He blushed at the thought, and the hardness in his pants became even more excruciating as he thought about teasing her nipples with his tongue.

"What the hell am I doing?" Harry thought. "Luna's strange, she talks about Snorkacks and shit. I'm not supposed to be fantasizing about her."

He sighed and Luna looked up.

"What's wrong, Harry? Did a Freckle-Pratt crawl in your ear?" She began waving her arms at Harry's head, causing her boobs to jiggle around. Harry groaned.

"No, Luna, it's okay. Really. I was just thinking about my…detention with Snape tonight," he covered quickly. "Not looking forward to de-sliming slugs by hand, urgh."

Luna looked thoughtful. "Daddy says slugs are slimy because they used to be fish and they like to feel like they are still swimming around. He uses their slime as lotion sometimes before he goes for a swim."

This disgusting topic of conversation caused Harry to picture Luna's dad's legs covered in slimy hair, and his boner immediately died. He was grateful, although it made his stomach turn.

Luna looked sad for a moment. "I almost wish I would get detention sometime, so at least I'd have something to do in the evenings."

Harry felt sorry for Luna, having no real friends of her own. He cleared his throat. "Uhm, Luna. Are you busy tomorrow evening?"

"No, Harry, I never have any plans at all aside from classes and homework."

Harry was frankly amazed at Luna's lack of a social life, considering her sizable breasts. He thought for sure every guy in school would wank to the sight of them, once they realized Luna was a girl, of course.

"Then how would you like to go out drinking with Hermione, Ron and me?" he asked.

"That sounds lovely, of course I'll dress up and everything." Luna smiled softly with crazy eyes.

"Great," Harry gave a genuine smile. He really did enjoy Luna's company, although he thought she was sort of weird. He just hoped his sudden intense attraction to her wouldn't ruin the night he had planned with his friends.


	2. Drunk Confessions

Harry walked into the Three Broomsticks at eight o'clock. He'd been a bit late getting ready, due to Peeves tripping him in the hallway, which had caused Harry to drop a jar of ink. Unfortunately, Mrs. Norris was underneath the jar as it fell and broke, splashing all over the furious cat. Harry had spent half an hour attempting to catch and clean up Mrs. Norris before Filch found out, and now he had bloody scratches all over his arms. But no matter, he was here to enjoy a Firewhisky with his best friends and nothing was going to stop him.

"Oy, Harry!" Ron yelled from across the bar. He'd already had a few drinks, judging by the color of his face—it matched his hair quite well. Hermione was sitting next to him, laughing and talking with Ginny.

Harry grinned as he sat down to join them. His heart thumped as he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Hi, Harry."

It was Luna. And oh, God, she was wearing the tightest, sexiest dress he'd ever seen. Of course, it was made of corn husks, but still. Harry tried not to stare at her cleavage.

"Hey Luna, how are you?" he managed.

"Oh, I'm alright, though the bathroom was full of Curvaceous Gnats. They talk so much, you know." She gave him a wide-eyed look of concern. "Don't go in the ladies', they might stick in your hair." She reached her hands out and began swatting at his head.

Ron snorted.

Harry went red at the idea of going in the ladies' room. He suddenly had a mental image of Luna taking off her panties delicately… _Not the time, Harry_, he told himself firmly. But it was too late, his cock was already getting hard in his pants.

Luna sat down next to him, her thigh touching his. Harry choked on his Firewhisky.

"So," Hermione began, "Harry. We have _got_ to get you a girlfriend." She giggled, apparently as drunk as Ron.

"Yeah?" Harry laughed. This was a common topic of discussion among the trio, ever since Hermione and Ron had got together. Hermione in particular worried that Harry needed someone else around so he wouldn't be lonely when the three hung out. "And who might you have in mind?" he asked jokingly.

"Hey, how about Luna!" Hermione smiled brightly. "You two…really might hit it off?" She took a large gulp of Firewhisky.

Harry blushed deeply and cursed himself. What was wrong with him? He couldn't even sit down with friends without his dick getting overexcited. He looked sideways at Luna and saw that for some reason, she had gone red, too. Luckily, Hermione hadn't seemed to notice. She was giggling too hard at a face Ron was making. Ginny, however, gave Harry a questioning look, and he looked away quickly.

A few hours and many beers later, the group decided to head back to the castle. Luna walked next to Harry down the moonlit path. She stumbled and brushed against him, and he jumped.

"Sorry," he muttered, embarrassed. He'd been on edge all night, unable to stop fantasizing about Luna. Her perfect, soft breasts under her corn-husk dress. He wanted to reach up her skirt and—

"Harry," Luna interrupted his thoughts. "I need to sit down." She wobbled.

"Are you ok?" Harry took hold of Luna's arm and led her to a large rock on the side of the path.

"Hey Ron!" Harry shouted to his friends who were walking ahead. "Hold on a minute, Luna needs to sit down!"

She sighed, leaning against his leg. "Harry, you're really attractive, did anyone ever tell you?"

"Er, thanks, Luna. You are too," Harry gulped, his heart beating fast. Was Luna just talking like this because she was drunk? He didn't even know how he felt about her, other than that she obviously had a really nice body.

Luna giggled and then fell over.

"Guys," Harry yelled. "A little help here!"

Hermione had sobered up enough to do magic, and she cast a spell to make Luna weightless. They carried her on their shoulders back to the castle.

Harry was restless that night and couldn't fall asleep. He couldn't stop thinking of what Luna had said. She probably wouldn't even remember it in the morning, let alone want to talk about it. It was best if they both just forgot it had ever happened, Harry decided.

Still—he was a horny teenage boy, and his hand wandered down to take hold of his cock. He began jerking himself off, hoping no one else was still awake. Living with four roommates, he had had to learn to wank quietly. While masturbating he usually thought about one of the half-nude witches from the magazines under Ron's bed. Ron had shared them with Harry once and made him swear to never tell Hermione.

Harry began picturing one of the witches who wore a pair of dark red stockings—and nothing else. She was one of his favorites. Tonight, though, she couldn't keep his attention, and as he felt himself getting close to finishing, his mind jumped to Luna and the feel of her thigh against his leg that night at the bar. He instantly felt himself climaxing, and moaned, unable to keep quiet. He panted as his cock burst forth with cum and his body filled with pleasure.

"Harry, shut up in there!" Ron mumbled, causing Harry to jump. "Keep your wanking to yourself, mate, like the rest of us."

Dean Thomas laughed from his bed.

Harry couldn't answer, he was too embarrassed.

The next morning at breakfast, Ron grinned at Harry across the oatmeal. "So, who was it you were 'getting it on with' last night?"

Harry went red. "Er—nobody in particular," he lied.

Dean laughed. "Sounded like you were having a right good time!"

"What'd I miss?" Seamus asked. "Harry finally got laid? God, it's about time."

"Nah, just had a hot date with his right hand," Ron joked.

"Oh, blimey, did not need to know that," Neville Longbottom groaned. He was their fifth and final roommate.

Luna walked over and sat down at the Griffindors' table, as was her habit. She didn't have many friends in Ravenclaw, so Hermione had kindly invited her to sit with them at meals.

Harry made eye contact with her and she smiled easily, rolling her eyes.

"I've got such a headache," she complained to Harry. "I drank _way _too much."

It appeared she had no memory of the night before. Harry knew he should feel relieved. It would have just ruined their friendship if they'd done anything they regretted, he told himself. Even so, he couldn't help feeling slightly disappointed.


End file.
